Yet he came into this match the leading wicket-taker on tour with 47 and, if he found the pitch so slow as to negate the effect of his leg-spin, no captain could be expected to put up with the number of boundary balls he delivered. The 21 fours he conceded in the first innings were followed by another five in his brief appearance yesterday afternoon.
He clearly lacks the confidence a spin bowler requires, especially one given so few chances at the highest level. The policy of pure pace blocked his entry into the Test team as it had done for so many others of his ilk. Rajindra Dhanraj’s unfortunate experience in his first Test of the series has proved a further set-back for West Indian spin bowling

Dhanraj has waited a long time for such an opportunity. Crop circles are their reply.” Prizes to Maurice Hulks, RJ Pickles, C Douglas.Next week, we shall report on golf courses, after which Creativity will be taking a short summer break. But don’t miss next week’s announcement of a new and thrillingly creative development.. Customers would get to the checkouts only when their trolleys were full enough to operate sprung sections of the hedge.FH Haddock wants it opened up for motor traffic: “When the middle is reached and traffic grinds to a halt, drivers will feel quite at home in the belief they are on the M25.”"Up-end it,” advises C Douglas, “round its corners off, and bowl it down to Stonehenge where, laid flat again, it could act as a cordon sanitaire, allowing people to wander through and out again without risk to the stones.”"Similarly,” he adds, “Stonehenge could be bowled up to Hampton Court, but that would just be silly.”More ideas: punishment course for convicted streakers (Geoffrey Langley); overgrown pinball using weather balloons (FG Robinson); leafy arbour for Wiltshire naturists (Ginger Fox); treatment centre for unfaithful MPs, left at the centre with the voices of wives and mistresses calling them in different directions (John and Fiona Earle); a place to deposit unwanted minotaurs, or road plan for new housing estates (Choonyibib).James Kerr has the week’s second worst pun: “Tell Grace to swallow it: a maze in Grace.” Charlotte Graham wants it transplanted to her front garden to keep uninvited guests away from her supply of gin and tonic.Tony Robson, however, has spotted its most likely use: “Hampton Court Maze has been taken to be a signal by the little green men in UFOs.

The greatest champion was the radio ham, Tony Foot, known as Ton, who managed to get the corn before it hit the ground. Ham Ton caught maize.”"It may be just coincidence,” writes Maurice Hulks, “that the maze follows the exact lines taken by my wife round our local department store.” He reckons that equipped with shelves it could be used to train shoppers. Phyl Mitchell has exactly the same idea, but adds television coverage padded out with National Lottery extravaganzas.”Use the maze as a prison as they do in Ireland,” suggests RJ Pickles, though we prefer his other idea: “Use as a practical degree test for behavioural psychologists who must compete against a rat.” Finally, he suggests losing Brent Spar and the Albert Memorial in it.Des Waller goes to extraordinary lengths to create the week’s worst pun: “The HCM could be used for the traditional sport of `cornienteering’, where contestants have to find corn cobs thrown over a hedge. Then have patience.”
Andy Berry wants to plant a differently-coloured bush along the maze routes “to provide an instant solution to the maze when the old one wears out”.Don McNamara suggests letting Tony Blair, John Major and Paddy Ashdown loose in the maze, with the first to reach the centre becoming the next Prime Minister.

“Practise conservation with the maze,” suggests Nicholas E Gough. “Plant a new maze along all the routes of the old one so that an exact replica can grow before the old one wears out. Amazing ideas have found their way here from many directions for things to do with the concoction at Hampton Court. It’s “e- mail NipSorrylineWWIIcheaperafter6pm” or something like that I’ll call them up.Do let us know how you get on.Sure No problem..

So maybe what the Japanese prime minister is saying is, I’m really sorry we lost and that’s all I’m sorry about! End of conversation.No, I don’t think so.Well, how are we going to find out?On the Internet.On the Internet?Sure I’ve got an Internet number for Japanese apologies here. They damned near won.No, I don’t think …You yourself said that they never came out in the open and said what they really felt Or even said what they didn’t really feel. Fighting on home ground, got the Brits on the run, overran Burma, Singapore, Thailand, occupied most of China, must have thought they were in with a good chance of coming out on top, or at least ending up with the whole of Asia under their thumb But then, suddenly, it all fell to pieces for them No wonder they feel sorry. Maybe he’s actually saying that he is sorry that Japan lost the war.How do you reckon that?Well, if he is talking about the last war, then maybe when he says it is a pity, it means it is a pity that they lost Maybe he wants us to apologise for winning.

Maybe he wants us to apologise for dropping the bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.Good God.I mean, for a long time, the Japanese were doing very well in the war. All he is saying is that he wished things had been different.Yes, you’ve got a point there. It’s not exactly remorseful, is it?Maybe he isn’t apologising at all. That’s a grovel if ever I heard one.Yes, but he isn’t actually saying he is sorry He is saying it is a pity That’s different. My God – this is a historic document!Is that an apology?Well, by Japanese standards it is By Japanese standards, that’s pretty damn near to hara-kiri.